“Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.” - Mother Teresa
Next month Mary Beth and I will celebrate our 23rd wedding anniversary. Our marriage has been redefined several times over the years. We are not the same couple now that we were 23 years ago and, just as significantly, we are not the same people.
My wife and I have matured and our marriage has matured. Time will do that. Life experience will do that, too. Because of what we have seen and experienced in our marriage, we are better prepared, and willing, to meet each other’s needs while at the same time preserving what is important to us, personally.
There have been plenty of high peaks in our marriage when loving each other was natural and easy. There have also been some deep valleys when we thought we just couldn’t get it together. We have discovered each day we do have the choice to commit to one another. Each day we have the choice to remain faithful to the marriage - faithful not just with sexual fidelity; although that is very important, but faithful in an emotional sense as well.
This list of 23 reasons I will always be faithful to Mary Beth comes from my heart to hers. I hope you find some value in these for your own relationship, too:
1. She is my best friend. I would rather hang out with her than any one else I know. Our Saturday’s of running errands or taking a few moments to talk over coffee at Starbucks, is some of the moments I cherish the most.
2. She shows me I’m worthy to be loved. I don’t feel like I’m second choice in her life.
3. She takes me out of my comfort zone. Mary Beth challenges me and she doesn’t let me take the easy, or safe way out of a situation. She reminds me that to keep growing as a person, I must continue to face my fears and insecurities.
4. She is a terrific mother and parent. My wife is very connected with each of our four children. They all feel loved by her and each one knows they can go to her for help or guidance without fear or shame getting in the way.
5. She gives me all the time I need to work on this blog. Never a pouty reaction – just unconditional support.
6. She takes care of those who are hurting the most. Mary Beth just finished her MSW degree at The University of Kansas. She is devoting the next phase of her professional career to helping those who are in emotional pain and have suffered significant trauma. She wants the rest of her patients’ lives to turn out a differently than how they started.
7. She is the “handy-man” around the house. If it wasn’t for the special skills of my wife, I would spend a fortune paying plumbers and electricians to fix the things I don’t have a clue to repair; but Mary Beth does.
8. She believes in me. No matter the circumstances or challenges, her belief in me never wavers. I can tell by looking into her eyes she truly believes I can do whatever I set-out to do.
9. She has a forgiving heart. My wife doesn’t carry a grudge or harbor resentment for long periods of time. Once she has accepted my apology for something I have done, and has chosen to forgive me – she means it and she lives it.
10. I still get excited when I get to see her for the first time of the day. During the week, I wake up very early and head to work before Mary Beth starts her day. Sometimes it can be as late as 9:00 p.m. before we see each for the first time. My stomach still tingles with excitement when I know I’m only a few minutes from seeing her.
11. She tells me she loves several times throughout the day. Every phone call during the day ends with “I love you,” and the last thing I hear at night as I prepare to fall to sleep is my wife loves me.
12. I respect her. Considering all she done for me, our family and the tremendous effort she places in making this world a better place for everybody else, I can’t imagine doing anything that would disrespect that commitment. I can’t imagine doing anything that would disrespect her.
13. She watches baseball games with me. And she enjoys it; and she knows the players’ names; and she gets excited when the Kansas City Royals win!
14. I miss her when we are apart for a few days. Time away from each other is healthy and beneficial; the homecoming is ever sweeter.
15. She doesn’t mind listening to sports-talk radio in the car. I never get the raised eyebrow look that says, “You expect me to listen to that?”
16. Sometimes she actually thinks I’m funny. She appreciates my sarcastic wit and my occasionally well-timed comebacks. No courtesy laughs here – she gets my sense of humor.
17. She still likes to hold hands when we take our after-dinner walks. Our evening walks have always been a great source of connection for us. We use this time to discuss our days and to help each other process or solve problems. Holding hands while we walk makes this time that much more special.
18. She is both unassuming and confident. Mary Beth seldom takes herself too seriously and at the same time she emits an incredible inner strength and self -confidence that people in her life are drawn to and find comfort in experiencing.
19. Her “I want to be with you” look still makes me weak in the knees.
20. She loves to cuddle. At the end of the day, when the day’s responsibilities are behind us, we grab a few moments to just be with each other as we chat and cuddle while watching something mindless on television. A few golden minutes to be sure.
21. She never quits on herself, or on us. I’m often taken back by her strong will (and sometimes just plain stubbornness) to never give up. No matter the obstacles, or the pain, or the circumstances, she has the ability to reach down and find something more to help keep her moving forward.
22. She looks beautiful in a camisole. They say love is blind, but my wife is beautiful in so many different ways. The camisoles she wears in summer don’t hurt either!
23. I can’t imagine life without her. A life worth living is a life worth sharing. Sharing my life with Mary Beth provides so many blessings. My heart will always remain faithful to hers because it is constantly being filled with her love and grace. I have faith it will always be this way – no matter what.
Monday, May 12, 2008
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