The Importance of Wife

To all the good guys who believe in marriage This one's for you!

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want? Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Anonymous

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.' Henny Youngman '

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.' Sam Kinison '

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.' James Holt McGavran '

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.' Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. MINAVER KAKKOO

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

Divorce Letter

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I
have nothing to showfor it. These last two weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Lastweek, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home
and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching thegame.
You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch meor anything.
Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore,
Whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your EX-Wife

Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a
far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drownout
your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when
you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind
was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if
you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you
must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating
pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new
negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still
loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I
had hit the lotto for ten million dollars,
I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home
you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you havethe filling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said with your letter thatyou wrote, you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Your EX-Husband