Divorce Letter

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I
have nothing to showfor it. These last two weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Lastweek, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home
and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching thegame.
You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch meor anything.
Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore,
Whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your EX-Wife

Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a
far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drownout
your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when
you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind
was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if
you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you
must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating
pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new
negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still
loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I
had hit the lotto for ten million dollars,
I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home
you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you havethe filling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said with your letter thatyou wrote, you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Your EX-Husband