believe it or not!
Joy
Woman has Man in it; Mrs. has Mr . in it; Female has Male in it; She has He in it; Madam has Adam in it; No wonder men always want to be inside women! Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman.... Why? BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME
Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now... I never looked at it this way before:
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?
MENtal illness MENstrual cramps MENtal breakdown MENopause GUYnecologist AND .. When we have REAL trouble, it's a HISterectomy.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
23 Heartfelt Reasons I Will Always be Faithful to My Wife
“Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.” - Mother Teresa
Next month Mary Beth and I will celebrate our 23rd wedding anniversary. Our marriage has been redefined several times over the years. We are not the same couple now that we were 23 years ago and, just as significantly, we are not the same people.
My wife and I have matured and our marriage has matured. Time will do that. Life experience will do that, too. Because of what we have seen and experienced in our marriage, we are better prepared, and willing, to meet each other’s needs while at the same time preserving what is important to us, personally.
There have been plenty of high peaks in our marriage when loving each other was natural and easy. There have also been some deep valleys when we thought we just couldn’t get it together. We have discovered each day we do have the choice to commit to one another. Each day we have the choice to remain faithful to the marriage - faithful not just with sexual fidelity; although that is very important, but faithful in an emotional sense as well.
This list of 23 reasons I will always be faithful to Mary Beth comes from my heart to hers. I hope you find some value in these for your own relationship, too:
1. She is my best friend. I would rather hang out with her than any one else I know. Our Saturday’s of running errands or taking a few moments to talk over coffee at Starbucks, is some of the moments I cherish the most.
2. She shows me I’m worthy to be loved. I don’t feel like I’m second choice in her life.
3. She takes me out of my comfort zone. Mary Beth challenges me and she doesn’t let me take the easy, or safe way out of a situation. She reminds me that to keep growing as a person, I must continue to face my fears and insecurities.
4. She is a terrific mother and parent. My wife is very connected with each of our four children. They all feel loved by her and each one knows they can go to her for help or guidance without fear or shame getting in the way.
5. She gives me all the time I need to work on this blog. Never a pouty reaction – just unconditional support.
6. She takes care of those who are hurting the most. Mary Beth just finished her MSW degree at The University of Kansas. She is devoting the next phase of her professional career to helping those who are in emotional pain and have suffered significant trauma. She wants the rest of her patients’ lives to turn out a differently than how they started.
7. She is the “handy-man” around the house. If it wasn’t for the special skills of my wife, I would spend a fortune paying plumbers and electricians to fix the things I don’t have a clue to repair; but Mary Beth does.
8. She believes in me. No matter the circumstances or challenges, her belief in me never wavers. I can tell by looking into her eyes she truly believes I can do whatever I set-out to do.
9. She has a forgiving heart. My wife doesn’t carry a grudge or harbor resentment for long periods of time. Once she has accepted my apology for something I have done, and has chosen to forgive me – she means it and she lives it.
10. I still get excited when I get to see her for the first time of the day. During the week, I wake up very early and head to work before Mary Beth starts her day. Sometimes it can be as late as 9:00 p.m. before we see each for the first time. My stomach still tingles with excitement when I know I’m only a few minutes from seeing her.
11. She tells me she loves several times throughout the day. Every phone call during the day ends with “I love you,” and the last thing I hear at night as I prepare to fall to sleep is my wife loves me.
12. I respect her. Considering all she done for me, our family and the tremendous effort she places in making this world a better place for everybody else, I can’t imagine doing anything that would disrespect that commitment. I can’t imagine doing anything that would disrespect her.
13. She watches baseball games with me. And she enjoys it; and she knows the players’ names; and she gets excited when the Kansas City Royals win!
14. I miss her when we are apart for a few days. Time away from each other is healthy and beneficial; the homecoming is ever sweeter.
15. She doesn’t mind listening to sports-talk radio in the car. I never get the raised eyebrow look that says, “You expect me to listen to that?”
16. Sometimes she actually thinks I’m funny. She appreciates my sarcastic wit and my occasionally well-timed comebacks. No courtesy laughs here – she gets my sense of humor.
17. She still likes to hold hands when we take our after-dinner walks. Our evening walks have always been a great source of connection for us. We use this time to discuss our days and to help each other process or solve problems. Holding hands while we walk makes this time that much more special.
18. She is both unassuming and confident. Mary Beth seldom takes herself too seriously and at the same time she emits an incredible inner strength and self -confidence that people in her life are drawn to and find comfort in experiencing.
19. Her “I want to be with you” look still makes me weak in the knees.
20. She loves to cuddle. At the end of the day, when the day’s responsibilities are behind us, we grab a few moments to just be with each other as we chat and cuddle while watching something mindless on television. A few golden minutes to be sure.
21. She never quits on herself, or on us. I’m often taken back by her strong will (and sometimes just plain stubbornness) to never give up. No matter the obstacles, or the pain, or the circumstances, she has the ability to reach down and find something more to help keep her moving forward.
22. She looks beautiful in a camisole. They say love is blind, but my wife is beautiful in so many different ways. The camisoles she wears in summer don’t hurt either!
23. I can’t imagine life without her. A life worth living is a life worth sharing. Sharing my life with Mary Beth provides so many blessings. My heart will always remain faithful to hers because it is constantly being filled with her love and grace. I have faith it will always be this way – no matter what.
Next month Mary Beth and I will celebrate our 23rd wedding anniversary. Our marriage has been redefined several times over the years. We are not the same couple now that we were 23 years ago and, just as significantly, we are not the same people.
My wife and I have matured and our marriage has matured. Time will do that. Life experience will do that, too. Because of what we have seen and experienced in our marriage, we are better prepared, and willing, to meet each other’s needs while at the same time preserving what is important to us, personally.
There have been plenty of high peaks in our marriage when loving each other was natural and easy. There have also been some deep valleys when we thought we just couldn’t get it together. We have discovered each day we do have the choice to commit to one another. Each day we have the choice to remain faithful to the marriage - faithful not just with sexual fidelity; although that is very important, but faithful in an emotional sense as well.
This list of 23 reasons I will always be faithful to Mary Beth comes from my heart to hers. I hope you find some value in these for your own relationship, too:
1. She is my best friend. I would rather hang out with her than any one else I know. Our Saturday’s of running errands or taking a few moments to talk over coffee at Starbucks, is some of the moments I cherish the most.
2. She shows me I’m worthy to be loved. I don’t feel like I’m second choice in her life.
3. She takes me out of my comfort zone. Mary Beth challenges me and she doesn’t let me take the easy, or safe way out of a situation. She reminds me that to keep growing as a person, I must continue to face my fears and insecurities.
4. She is a terrific mother and parent. My wife is very connected with each of our four children. They all feel loved by her and each one knows they can go to her for help or guidance without fear or shame getting in the way.
5. She gives me all the time I need to work on this blog. Never a pouty reaction – just unconditional support.
6. She takes care of those who are hurting the most. Mary Beth just finished her MSW degree at The University of Kansas. She is devoting the next phase of her professional career to helping those who are in emotional pain and have suffered significant trauma. She wants the rest of her patients’ lives to turn out a differently than how they started.
7. She is the “handy-man” around the house. If it wasn’t for the special skills of my wife, I would spend a fortune paying plumbers and electricians to fix the things I don’t have a clue to repair; but Mary Beth does.
8. She believes in me. No matter the circumstances or challenges, her belief in me never wavers. I can tell by looking into her eyes she truly believes I can do whatever I set-out to do.
9. She has a forgiving heart. My wife doesn’t carry a grudge or harbor resentment for long periods of time. Once she has accepted my apology for something I have done, and has chosen to forgive me – she means it and she lives it.
10. I still get excited when I get to see her for the first time of the day. During the week, I wake up very early and head to work before Mary Beth starts her day. Sometimes it can be as late as 9:00 p.m. before we see each for the first time. My stomach still tingles with excitement when I know I’m only a few minutes from seeing her.
11. She tells me she loves several times throughout the day. Every phone call during the day ends with “I love you,” and the last thing I hear at night as I prepare to fall to sleep is my wife loves me.
12. I respect her. Considering all she done for me, our family and the tremendous effort she places in making this world a better place for everybody else, I can’t imagine doing anything that would disrespect that commitment. I can’t imagine doing anything that would disrespect her.
13. She watches baseball games with me. And she enjoys it; and she knows the players’ names; and she gets excited when the Kansas City Royals win!
14. I miss her when we are apart for a few days. Time away from each other is healthy and beneficial; the homecoming is ever sweeter.
15. She doesn’t mind listening to sports-talk radio in the car. I never get the raised eyebrow look that says, “You expect me to listen to that?”
16. Sometimes she actually thinks I’m funny. She appreciates my sarcastic wit and my occasionally well-timed comebacks. No courtesy laughs here – she gets my sense of humor.
17. She still likes to hold hands when we take our after-dinner walks. Our evening walks have always been a great source of connection for us. We use this time to discuss our days and to help each other process or solve problems. Holding hands while we walk makes this time that much more special.
18. She is both unassuming and confident. Mary Beth seldom takes herself too seriously and at the same time she emits an incredible inner strength and self -confidence that people in her life are drawn to and find comfort in experiencing.
19. Her “I want to be with you” look still makes me weak in the knees.
20. She loves to cuddle. At the end of the day, when the day’s responsibilities are behind us, we grab a few moments to just be with each other as we chat and cuddle while watching something mindless on television. A few golden minutes to be sure.
21. She never quits on herself, or on us. I’m often taken back by her strong will (and sometimes just plain stubbornness) to never give up. No matter the obstacles, or the pain, or the circumstances, she has the ability to reach down and find something more to help keep her moving forward.
22. She looks beautiful in a camisole. They say love is blind, but my wife is beautiful in so many different ways. The camisoles she wears in summer don’t hurt either!
23. I can’t imagine life without her. A life worth living is a life worth sharing. Sharing my life with Mary Beth provides so many blessings. My heart will always remain faithful to hers because it is constantly being filled with her love and grace. I have faith it will always be this way – no matter what.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Best Divorce Letter
Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years, and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today, and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, then went straight to sleep after watching all your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want to have sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case is, I am gone.
Your EX - Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It is true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you got a hair cut last week. The first thing that came to mind was, "You look just like a girl!" but my mother raised me not to say anything, if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating steak seven years ago. I turned away from you when you had those silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and yourm new silk boxers were $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So, when I discovered that I had>hit the lottery for Ten Million Dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that with your letter you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed,
Rich and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla,my sister, was born CARL. I hope that's not a problem.
Change is good.
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years, and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today, and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, then went straight to sleep after watching all your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want to have sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case is, I am gone.
Your EX - Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It is true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you got a hair cut last week. The first thing that came to mind was, "You look just like a girl!" but my mother raised me not to say anything, if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating steak seven years ago. I turned away from you when you had those silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and yourm new silk boxers were $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So, when I discovered that I had>hit the lottery for Ten Million Dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that with your letter you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed,
Rich and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla,my sister, was born CARL. I hope that's not a problem.
Change is good.
Friday, February 15, 2008
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last:
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Sydney and mine is in Melbourne .
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary."Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread makerThen she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!".So I bought her an electric chair.
7. Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.
8. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
9. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
10. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"....I said, "Dust!"
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Sydney and mine is in Melbourne .
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary."Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread makerThen she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!".So I bought her an electric chair.
7. Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.
8. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
9. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
10. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"....I said, "Dust!"
Monday, December 10, 2007
CHILD TO PARENT
Author Unknown
Dec 7, 2007
* Don't spoil me, I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask
for.
I am only testing you.
* Don't be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it. It makes me feel
more
secure.
* Don't let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them
in the
early stages.
* Don't make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave
stupidly
"big."
* Don't correct me in front of people if you can avoid it. I'll take
much
more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.
* Don't protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way
sometimes.
* Don't take too much notice of my small ailments. I am quite capable
of
trading on them.
* Don't nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by appearing
deaf.
* Don't make rash promises. Remember that I feel badly let down when
promises are broken.
* Don't forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should like.
That
is why I am not always very accurate.
* Don't tax my honesty too much. I am easily frightened into telling
lies.
* Don't be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose
faith
in you.
* Don't put me off when I ask questions. If you do you will find I
will stop
asking and seek information elsewhere.
* Don't tell my fears are silly. They are terribly real, and you can
do much
to reassure me if you try to understand.
And please...
* Don't neglect me; I do not want to be a delinquent.
Dec 7, 2007
* Don't spoil me, I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask
for.
I am only testing you.
* Don't be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it. It makes me feel
more
secure.
* Don't let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them
in the
early stages.
* Don't make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave
stupidly
"big."
* Don't correct me in front of people if you can avoid it. I'll take
much
more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.
* Don't protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way
sometimes.
* Don't take too much notice of my small ailments. I am quite capable
of
trading on them.
* Don't nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by appearing
deaf.
* Don't make rash promises. Remember that I feel badly let down when
promises are broken.
* Don't forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should like.
That
is why I am not always very accurate.
* Don't tax my honesty too much. I am easily frightened into telling
lies.
* Don't be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose
faith
in you.
* Don't put me off when I ask questions. If you do you will find I
will stop
asking and seek information elsewhere.
* Don't tell my fears are silly. They are terribly real, and you can
do much
to reassure me if you try to understand.
And please...
* Don't neglect me; I do not want to be a delinquent.
Friday, August 24, 2007
The Importance of Wife
To all the good guys who believe in marriage This one's for you!
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Hemant Joshi
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want? Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Anonymous
'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.' Henny Youngman '
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.' Sam Kinison '
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.' James Holt McGavran '
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.' Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. Milton Berle
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. MINAVER KAKKOO
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Hemant Joshi
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want? Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Anonymous
'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.' Henny Youngman '
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.' Sam Kinison '
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.' James Holt McGavran '
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.' Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. Milton Berle
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. MINAVER KAKKOO
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Divorce Letter
Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I
have nothing to showfor it. These last two weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Lastweek, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home
and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching thegame.
You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch meor anything.
Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore,
Whatever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a
far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drownout
your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when
you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind
was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if
you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you
must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating
pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new
negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still
loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I
had hit the lotto for ten million dollars,
I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home
you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you havethe filling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said with your letter thatyou wrote, you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Your EX-Husband
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I
have nothing to showfor it. These last two weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Lastweek, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home
and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching thegame.
You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch meor anything.
Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore,
Whatever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a
far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drownout
your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when
you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind
was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if
you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you
must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating
pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new
negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still
loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I
had hit the lotto for ten million dollars,
I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home
you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you havethe filling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said with your letter thatyou wrote, you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Your EX-Husband
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